Super Market Time

Some people have a pathological fear of Supermarkets. These people will drive miles out of their way to obtain groceries from roadside stands, or small niche market stores. They almost always take as much advantage of their friends and neighbors as they can---using the old, "oh if your going to the supermarket today, gee, gosh could you pick up a couple items for me" routine. I feel kinda sorry for those people---supermarkets being such a main social center of modern lives as they are---to have a fear of them----that's not living , that's merely existing.
I myself have no fear of the Supermarkets---I go in KNOWING in advance that in all probability I am going to come out with my blood pressure raging, my wallet screaming "rape", my mind in total turmoil, not having found this or that and now having to substitute and totally revamp my weeks meal planning that I had spend a good 15-20 minutes working on in preparation to going to the store. Like HELLO, going to the supermarket is probably the highlight of my week. and its air conditioned too.
Today, is Tuesday, this is the day I do the LP's grocery list. I received the list and my detailed instructions last evening, and I am pleased to report I am quite confident I Will be able to acquire all of the items, the only sticky part will be as I get checked out---and ask for $200 in cash----this slows the clerks down as almost always they have to call the assistant mgr, who has to go to the back room to get the extra cash (I have noticed over time however if I shop late in the after noon, more often than not the clerk will have sufficient cash in their drawer to handle my request).----but again even in my worst case scenario, I get the cash and the trip will be a successful one.---I will plan on hitting the market about 2-2:30pm---after the lunch rush, but before the 4pm "oh my gawd he will be home from work in an hour and I don't have anything to cook for dinner", rush.----and I need to review the list with my collection of usable coupons---its gonna be a good day.

Check Out YOUR Market.

I am an old dude, and I've been around the block a few times. That is to say I'm not totally naive and ignorant of the world around me. Here's something you young-uns and 9-to-5'ers might want to look into. I know you all spend some modicum of time at your local supermarkets, and more specifically dally some bit in the wine Isle, so next time ya do, keep this Lil bit in mind.
Your store most likely displays its wine inventory by region, that is to say a section for California wines, a Section for New York Wines, and a section for Imported wines. Then within each of those sections you will find it broken down by price as follows. (this is where it gets interesting). Your standing there looking at the shelves of wine right---in the middle, maybe just below eye level are the brands you usually make do with. the medium priced stuff. Now just above this line of view, on the next shelf UP, one can gaze at the more expensive stuff that the better off crowd gets to drink. and if ya look again at YOUR middle shelf, and then look below it, you will find the cheaper stuff---you know the stuff ya might buy cause your giving a large party and want to save a few bucks on wine----Its. all very psychological, you have to reach UP for the good stuff, and bend down to get the cheap stuff.-----and you KNOW other customers are watching ya to see what YOU are buying-----uh-huh, told ya it would be interesting.
By the way, the very say psychological placement of food items on the other food isles of the store is done the same way-----If like me your on fixed income and need to watch your budget, a shopping trip to the store can be a real back breaker---literally.

Another Tuesday

Well here I am in the middle of yet another Tuesday---pretty sure it must be Tuesday, for two reasons. One the pool man coming through our side gate woke me up this morning---and I know he comes on Tuesdays. and the second reason is , the LP gave me his shopping list, which is yet another Tuesday ritual set in stone. So it MUST be Tuesday. (I'm glad we had this little talk and cleared this issue up).

I went to the supermarket, clutching the LP's list of must have this week stuff, and threw myself into the store which is slowly re-inventing itself----all the goods and edibles are there----someplace---one merely has to be patient, and have the eyes of a hawk ----. What did we learn at the store today Daddy?? ---For some inexplicable reason, Hebrew National meat Products are bunched together in one corner of the store----and not with the rest of the bologna, wieners, and luncheon meat offerings---its almost like they are ashamed to be seen in public---IS Hebrew National going out of business maybe? (They sure are hidden away in the new Ralph's store)
I spent the better part of an hour looking for mini quiche Lorraine servings, and also could not find those little hotdogs wrapped in pastry (aka pigs in a blanket)----so purchased a large fresh baked quiche from the bakery----hot dogs and Pillsbury crescent rolls and will assemble and cook at home----aside from those two fiasco's, I got the graham crackers, the corn beef hash (which is not the same as just plain corn beef---one has to be careful reading labels), got the brown free ranch eggs, got the champagne, got the book of stamps, got the 20 bucks cash----and returned to the castle---(remembered to pick up the mail as I came in--yaaaaah two new movies from Net Flix).
I put the groceries away, listened to the LP's blue remarks regarding Ralph's not having pigs in a blanket, and party mini quiche Lorraine bites, but then saw that he probably saved a few pennies by my buying the real stuff and cooking it a home ---I grabbed a cold bottle of water and slunk out to the patio---finished the last chapter of my current book, and am now all set to take all my books to the library tomorrow---gonna take Joyce's suggestion and stock up on the Author James Patterson's books, "7th Heaven", "The sixth Target", "Double Cross", "Maximum Ride" and "Sail"-----that should keep me in reading material for two or three weeks.
Since its the LP's job to set the menu for Tuesday, have checked with him and we are having the tasty and filling, scrambled eggs (with just salt and pepper to taste), slices of fried corn beef hash, and cold sliced tomatoes. So cooking dinner for us tonight will be quick and easy---making scrambled eggs is such a great way of ridding ones self of any pent up frustrations---one can really beat the hell out of the eggs----by the time I finish washing up after dinner, should be in a nice relaxed mood for tonight's entertainment, (one of the netflix movies or disc two of the new cable TV show series we have started "Huff", we watched the pilot and the first two episodes the other night.)

Friends of friends---and things that go bump in the night

(here is a pic of Midge taken at a recent gathering of he SOCDS -----)

Having mentioned my experience with self checkout---I received a couple comments about others experiences , likes and dislikes about supermarkets. I would be amiss if I didn't confess that one of my regular coffee mates at the SOCDS meetings, is Midge LeBelle. Midge was a career supermarket checker---and the stories SHE could tell---about the coupon queens, those trying to beat the food stamp program etc, etc, etc. Trust me, looking at things from the Checker's side of the counter explains a lot--------oooh by the way Midge LeBelle is her MARRIED name---her husband is ----Gene LeBelle----"THE GENE LEBELLE". popularly known as "Judo Gene", ----also billed as "The toughest Man in the WORLD". (google the name Gene Lebelle and get all the facts)---anyway I mention all this as I will be having coffee with Midge in the morning and getting an update how things went in Las Vegas, where Gene had been flown in to judge a "no holds barred" wrestling/boxing match----------the Man is the man, a great guy to meet---but you don't want to make him mad at ya---hell just ask Steven Segal-----(I can't TELL you that story----but ask any stunt men in the industry---they KNOW"

Old Twain versus Young Twain

I have to assume the bulk of my readers are familiar with the expression , "East is East, and West is West and Twain's never meet?", well sometimes they come close, and it makes for an interesting moment.---take today for example---"Old dude ", (that's me), goes shopping at his local supermarket. I KNOW the market is in the midst of recreating itself and as the days go by with each subsequent visit I see the new store emerging from the chaos. Today's list of vittles was not overwhelming, six pack of beer, a four pack of Charmin's, a dozen eggs, (brown, free range), a bag of frozen beef ravioli, a pound of hamburger (less than 10% fat), butter (original "I can't believe its not butter" brand), a container of shower soap, (Irish Spring liquid gel), some paper towels, chicken breast fillets,---anyway, I get want I went for, and push my cart to the new checkout stands---and voila, find that my supermarket now offers self checkout---OKAY!! (one of my major gripes has been having to stand in line waiting for somebody to take my money)---so naturally I had to give it a shot. like hello, been familiar with Bar coding for what maybe 25-30 years, watch it go from a military thing to a commercial technology---should be no problem.



With great confidence I give the attendant hovering around to answer questions to newbies with the system, a confident smile and wheel up to the check out station and boldly and confidently swipe my Ralph's card and get acknowledged by the machine. which then proceeds to announce verbally, so anyone within 20 feet can hear, "scan first item and put it into the bag". Not quite ready for that, but I grab an item from my cart, fumble around with it to find the required bar code needing to be scanned. I wasn't fast enough and the machine embarrassingly loud announces again , "SCAN ITEM AND PUT IT IN THE BAG" (I am sure at this point others in the store are now turning to look and see what is causing a problem, most definitely the young attendant, that gives me the look young kids give old people, when dealing with old people who just don't know diddly, or that's how THEY see it)



Basically I am a nice guy, easy going, laid back---but damn I get attitude, especially from kids barely outta the acne stage, and hello---the attendant gives ME that look----I have to decide if I am just going to be cranky, or take it all the way to Nuclear---in any any case, there is no way I am gonna let this cherub win the day, and from MY point of view HE started it with giving me that look----(hey just defending myself officer)

Clerk, that smirk if not on his face still reflected in his eyes and body language, clicks his master control and in a sneer tells me to proceed, I scan a couple more items, being bulky they fill the bag, but before I can open another bag, the machine loudly screams for "Attendant required, , Attendant Required"---and of course I get the same punk attendant. Not about to give him any satisfaction before he can speak, "Your machine here doesn't allow sufficient time for a shopper to open a new back to put their purchases in it seems?" The Kid, somewhat confused now, not use to an OLD Dude" questioning HIM about new digital stuff, scowls mumbles something about the machine not suppose to do that---he again clears the machine of its hangup, and I proceed to scan another item and even before I can put it in the bag does it screaming thing, calling for an attendant, I now give the kid the classic "Jack Benny, Well??" look---you know the one, (the one that pretty much tells the kid his machine and system is not infallible look, which he of course is totally unable to excuse or explain) I am cool, I don't raise my fists to the sky, and do that little victory dance one does when life is good)

I finish scanning, pay the bill, and unable to stop myself had to go for the final kill--. I give him a nice little smile and comment, " This could well work if the system incorporates the new paperless coupon system that Ralphes has, ---won't need attendants here at all", I exit the store a half grin on my face---score "old dude" 1---young kid 0---turns out the experience wasn't all that bad after all