FORAGING TIME---(sometimes called saturday)

Some people live to eat, while others just eat to live-----the difference between these types is how many trips to the supermarket they make in a given week. I use to think the difference between these type of people was in how much weight they were toting around, but I have learned as I got older that is not a good means of measuring as some people can put on weight just by watching others eat, while some can lose weight even as hey eat---(I HATE those people).

I have perused the larder here at the Palace, and well its getting kinda bleak---I'm over stocked on Arrowhead water, paper towels and Tomato Sauce----and out of everything else-----this last week or so has been kinda surreal-----but now I have to get back on the horse and---well at least venture forth and get some food in the house---its SUPERMARKET TIME!!

For the last couple decades I have gone to the store shopping for two----but now I only have to shop for just one------I am sitting here thinking about making a list and it occurs to me that I consciously have to remember now not to over buy foodstuffs that have a limited shelf life, (IE;, lettuce and other perishables)---and it occurs to me to that now when I cook a meal, I need to only prepare half of my recipes, unless of course I want to create a ton of left overs, which then reminds me of one of Erma Bombecks remarks---leftovers are okay, it takes a week to make garbage!!

I am sure all of you have in your hours of waiting in line to check out of the grocery store observed those individuals ahead of you in line, that are buying the small individual servings of soups, and frozen entrees, maybe a small piece of fruit and 27 cans of cat food----I am determined not to become one of those sad lonely people. I will buy in bulk, and learn how to make use of freezer bags, and keep the place stocked so should the occasion arise, I can whip up a dinner for 4-6 people, and I am determined to not lean on frozen entrees for the bulk of my meals, but to cook up good healthy meals from scratch---like what the heck I can burn meat with the best of em when I apply myself.(LOL)

OKAAAY, I'm glad we had this little talk, yeahh its gonna be okay----I can do it, I CAN go to the store and all I need to do is maintain some semblence of sanity and not over buy---I mean even if the price is right, not gonna buy 25 pound sack of potatoes----ten pounds is enough right?

LOOKOUT RALPH'S---ready or not, here comes the old Dude!!

I STILL DON'T WANNA----BUT---(SOB)

Normally, if normal can ever be applied to me, I would have gone out and done My weekly shopping yesterday . (saturday), but in a fit of rebellion I allowed myself to procrastinate and put it off----well NOW I no longer have that luxury---am down to to cans of beer, so gonna HAVE to go out and get provisions, so might as well go to the damn supermarket as well.

I remember as a kid, grocery stores use to be kinda neat. everyone smiled and seemed to know each others names, I can even remember buying cambells cream of tomato soup, five cans for a $1.00, and (laugh) I well remember, when the family moved to California (home of happy cows), and I got sent to the store to get a quart of milk, came back home told my mom the store was out of milk, got sent back to the store , and subsequently learned that milk was sold in those funny waxed boxes, rather than the clear round glass bottles I had always seen it sold in!! (live and learn right?).  I read someplace , that in Europe,  milk and cream is sold in pyramind shaped containers that keeps them fresh longer?? does anyone know anything about that?

Then after the big war, WW II, the grocery stores expanded into what we now call the supermarkets, where nobody knows your name, everyone is in a hurry, nobody smiles while shopping anymore---except the masochist's.  The supermarkets are vast football field sized offerings of everything in the way of food and household items known to mankind.  The stores offer not only a cornicopia of food stuffs, they also have toys, Bar-B-Q gear, lawn furniture, T-shirts, socks, Throw rugs, dishes, silverware, knives, razors and blades (I remember when one had to go to the Drugstore for those).

In the old days one went to the store and bought tomatoes and fruit when they were in season .  Now we import food all year round  from just about every country in the world.  You want tomatoes today---you have to decide between about 8 different varieties.  Coffee, oh my look at all the different brands and flavors to choose from, then one has to decide if one wants whole bean or ground.  At my local Ralph's, if one would like to buy some soup---Ralphs has about 30 feet of soups to choose from---(but they never seem to have campbells Cream of Asperagas in stock??).  The point being shopping is no longer any fun, its a real pain in the rear end.----well do have to admit its kinda fun to crawl through the produce dept, and check out all the wild foreign  lettuces, and beans and mushroooms and stuff ----not that I would eat any of it mind ya.

Anyway, today I will go to the supermarket, get my weeks worth of food (and oh yeah razor blades), I want to pick up some flour tortillias, am gonna make a stab at making them Egg burritos Judi mentioned earlier in one of her comments on my page----maybe with luck she'll post the whole recipe??  (hint hint). 

Mixed Berry Pie and GOG

It was a fairly decent day til about two hours ago. Just before 2pm (PST) the LP casually inquired if I had any intentions of going to the grocery store today. I replied that yes I did have that on my list of things to do to day---(actually it was the only thing I had on my list of things to do to day---like I said it was a nice day). I equally casually inquired as to why he had asked me that, was there something he would like me to pick up from Ralph's??
Obviously there was or he would not have asked if I was going to the store---we went through the social niceties ---well if it wasn't a bother, no its no bother, yadda, yadda yadda, and I learned that he had this sudden desire for a piece of pie. No nothing fancy like one might get at Marie Callendars, just a good old fashion off the shelf standard pie from Ralph's. "Sure , no problem, and what kind would you like?" says I---The LP pauses, blinks a few times as he ponders his specific flavor hunger and in a low voice, "An apricot Pie would be great----(then seeing my skeptical look on being able to find that particular flavor, he went on)---my second choice would be a Berry Pie, no, no, wait, make that Key Lime Pie---but if they don't have that then make it Cherry" By this time I am now taking notes, and getting a headache, but I manage to collect all the info regarding just what kind of pie he would like, as well as his second, third and forth choices..
So I collected my own grocery list, and headed out to the big supermarket , with reasonable expectations of success. The sun was shining, and the world seemed to be in balance, ---you would think at my age I would immediately know something was about to go wrong it always does when things get to being that good.
It started as I pulled in the big parking lot at Ralph's---I swear I had stepped into the twilight zone----for immediately I was swept up in the tide of cars going round and round looking for a parking slot, stop and go, stop and go, stop and go-----three and a half complete circuits of the parking lot, before the gods decided to allow me to park, and that of course was about as far from the store entrance as one could get and still be in the parking lot. (but I was grateful to get out of the stop and go, stop and go level of hell).
I entered the big Ralph's emporium, the cool air conditioning washing over me as I bravely pushed my empty cart, and for a brief couple minutes I began to have hopes that the worst of it was over, and the rest of my trip would go smoothly (yeah right!! its truly amazing that I retain any sense of optimism at all).
The circus in the parking lot should have prepared me for the zoo inside the store. It was readily apparent to me as I looked at the structured chaotic mob surrounding the checkout stations that if I had any smarts at all I should flee the store and go home and accept the LP's snickers of disgust at my inability to purchase a simple everyday item that he had requested. My family inherited stubborn streak precluded my making such a rationale decision, I had come to shop and should it mean I would be run down by unattended kids playing tag with market baskets, or delayed in mid blocked isles by seniors trying to read their scribbled grocery lists---I would complete my own list, no matter how long it took.
Unfortunately my list of items required I go all over the damn store from one side to the other , from the front to the back-----dodging the kids, keeping my hands to myself, and not throttling the screamers, keeping one eye on the shelves for my items, the other on the lookout for mad dog cart drivers---there was a four cart pile up on Isle #6 involving two older blue haired women, their husbands, a young women with two screaming 6-7 yo's, and senior citizen driving one of the electric carts-----I didn't stick around to find out who or what had happened, it seemed they were about to start throwing can goods at each other---I wanted no part of that----I rounded up my half dozen items from my list, and pushed my way into the bakery area to get the LP's pie. I quickly determined they had no Apricot pies, (his #1 choice) but they did have Peach pies, hmmmm, but wait he had made no mention of Peach pies, so best not to get that, I had to screen about 1-12 cherry pies, before I scored one that read "mixed berry", I grabbed it and headed for the check out stations----it was like entering the seventh level of Dante's inferno. The screams of tired and cranky children, the snarls of adults who had been in line waaay to long. In my own line, it was like life had suddenly gone into real slow motion, every one ahead of me had issues with the checkout person, regarding whether it was a two get on free, or a coupon for a different size, but what the hell ---last minute changes of mine, my ice cream is melting can you send the box boy back to get a frozen one, etc, etc, etc.---I don't remember clearly paying for my groceries, nor do I recollect driving home the few blocks to the house---what I do remember is, unpacking the groceries, hearing the LP telling me he was ready for his pie and wanted ice cream on it----, in a calm smiling face I gave him a nice slice of pie, with Ice cream, he smiled up at me, and vocalized his thanks, and once again GOG returned to his normal good natured self (GOG is shorthand for "Good old Gary althought sometimes it stands for "Grumpy old Gary")-----well it HAD been a nice day at the start anyway.

"The Old Dude versus The Dreaded Supermarket Gambit"

One of my fans admonished me saying I was the only one who could make doing the laundry sound like fun.-----so today I am going to see if I can put a positive spin on doing the required acquisition of eatables----I may be over reaching, and I need to be careful----I'm running the risk of having my "Ralph's Senior Card" deleted from the machine-----creating an instant "street person". However I am reasonable confident Ralph's will not see me as a serious threat to their strangle hold on the San Fernando Valley.
Okay, today is Saturday, no big deal, that happens about the same time every week, pretty consistently. Now on Saturdays, as a hangover from back in the old days when I worked the 40 hour nine to five thing, this is the day I do my weekly grocery shopping, drop off cleaning at the dry cleaners, do the gardening and those chores one normally, when working a 40 hour week are two tired to take on when arriving home. Out of habit I have continued to bunch my chores into the Saturday time frame---now being retired, if they don't get done, there is always NEXT Saturday right? ---but I digress---this post is about the grocery acquisitioning task.
The first thing one absolutely must do, is prepare a list of those things needed to be bought. To enter the modern supermarket without a list----is sheer doom. The big mega markets we shop at today all have hired professional psychologists to advise them of what color packages to use, what eye level it should sit on the shelf--(ever wonder why the candies are down there staring the Lil kids eyeball to eyeball?)----the scents of fresh baked bread wafting through the store, the placement of what appears last minute of pots of fresh flowers and greenery---and notice too, no matter what time of day you visit the fresh produce section, somebody is there misting down the greens or polishing the apples and oranges keeping it looking oh so appetizing. Oh no, one MUST have a list of what he came in to buy---and not allow him/herself to be sidetracked into impulsive purchases---that's a quick trip to debt-ville . (how does a mom explain to her child he doesn't really need lunch money for school, her having over spent at the grocery market on impulse buys, and they can eat when they get home.)
So this old dude makes up his list of eatables and food materials that he will need for the coming week, planning my meals to be served for myself and the LP, verifying with multiple trips from the den to the kitchen to the pantry to determine if I have this or that already or need to buy more----I even take into my military precision planning to make use of what coupons apply to my final list. NOTE: Old Dude Grocery Shopping Law #1-- One NEVER allows a coupon to determine if an item is to be purchased. (one does NOT save a dollar buying something one doesn't need for five dollars just to make use of a dollar discount---all you have done is spend four dollars ya didn't and shouldn't have---hey its okay kids you can eat when ya get home).
Finally my list of foodstuffs completed, its time to go to -------THE STORE. I have carefully dressed in a so-so pair of Levi's, dirty white sneakers and a solid color (blue ) T-shirt. This outfit deliberately chosen to assist me in blending in with the many other rats running in the maze. (you laugh at me calling myself and my fellow shoppers as "Rats in a Maze"---have you stopped and analyzed the layout of your supermarket---its deliberately laid out, foods put in specific locations to almost guarantee any one person must travel up and down all the isles to get what is on their list---presenting to these "rats" scurrying through the maze--a zillion possible impulse whim purchases---its diabolical I tell ya.)
It would be much simpler if one didn't have so many variations on a theme presented to us for almost every item we wish to buy. Tomatoes?---one has to decide between about 15 varieties, sizes and color. Similarly, you wish to buy soup----40 feet of shelving 6 1/2 feet high, of all the various brands and flavors of soups--- (by the way believe it or don't but Ralph's did NOT have Cream of Asparagus soup in stock last week---I know cause I spent the better part of 30 minutes going through all the brands looking for it.) The same with just about everything else one might want, butter, potatoes, milk, ---the packaged sliced meats is a world in itself. It makes grocery shopping almost hell having to make decisions. Its not unusual to learn that some marriages have come apart just on the basis of the wrong brands of foods being purchased. I can almost understand THAT---here at home the LP watches cooking shows all day, then makes up HIS grocery list----and sends me to the store. (between his coming up with some weird brands and his lousy spelling, I have come close to a nervous breakdown trying to complete his shopping for him. (I believe I have told you before about the P B Cookie dough incident in one of my older posts, but it illustrates the problem---long story short, I found the cookie dough section of Ralph's, but it took me some time to translate the "P B" into Palm Beach cookie dough, but I finally did---by then my ice cream had melted and I had to get a fresh package).
Aside from all the above terrors of shopping, all in all a trip through our modern supermarkets is quite an experience, foods from all over the world are on display for purchase, ginger roots, juamarabbi's,(Mexican potatos), and dozens of things that our multicultural population here in Los Angeles requires for their eating habits. The store is air conditioned, one can even purchase a roll and coffee to munch on while rolling through the miles of isles-----but like I said, without a list-----(shudder)---they do take all the major credit cards however.

GOOD LUCK AND GOOD HUNTING