I guess the old saw is true, "no peace for the wicked"----right now I want to step off Life's merry-go-round, and kinda take stock of things, but----the sun keeps coming up in the east no matter what, life marches on and round and round we go.
I have a hundred questions that need answers and I seem to be in some kind of cruel slow motion dream/nightmare---nothing happens til one is granted official death certificates , at least nothing of any legal and/or financial significance. I have been advised formally that it will be approximately two weeks before I get official death certificates for Jerry. At which time I can begin the necessary legal and financial closures that need to be made. Perhaps this is best, that I have this two week period in which to adjust to my new reality, to come to grips with what appears to be the rest of my life-----my mind flies in a hundred directions, only to loop back and maybe five minutes has past-----two weeks of this and I might truly be somewhat insane.
I must say my family consisting of all six of my Nieces and Nephews , their wives and children have rushed to my side---I am not alone , and I am truly grateful for that. My neighbors too have been most understanding and supportive, and I would be totally amiss if I did not acknowledge all the kind comments and words you my readers and blog friends have given me. You have my most humble thank you for all you have given me.
In that I can't do anything for a couple weeks, I find I now have a zillion hours a day to kill, and nothing to do but stare out the window and let my mind spin in futile frustration regarding all the things needing to be done but which can't be started yet, and I am not even sure yet what priority to assign all the many tasks needing done---where does one begin, where does one start? (Please dear readers do not think I am asking you for answers, truly I am not, I am just airing my dazed mind, ---thinking out loud---my questions are rhetorical---(sigh))
Life goes on, bills need to be paid, meals have to be eaten, gardens tended---I washed the dishes last night, one plate, one set of flatware, One small baking dish, one pan-----The house is now so so quiet, so empty---no one to fetch things for, no one to worry about, I'm free to come and go as I please---I don't want to stay in, and I don't want to go out-----a few more minutes have clicked off the clock----later, will endeavor to post something more cheerful later---